i’m sitting here watching voyager, and i’m going to try and write something thoughtful, which is usually a recipe for disaster. but here we go.
for reasons that may be apparent to those who see me daily i have been contemplating a weight loss plan. it came down to this: atkins vs. weight watchers.
i’m not _really_ interested in discussing the validity of atkins, or the possible dangers, or whether it’s healthy in the short or the long term. but wow, does it inspire passion in people. my own experiences showed me the fanatical followers of the diet; reading i’ve been doing lately has exposed me– even further– to its many detractors.
just for the record, though, while i was on atkins a few years ago, i did not have breath that smelled like rotten pineapple. yesterday, on a list i found on a nutritionist’s web site, i read that as the number twelve reason why atkins is The Wrong Diet, so i just wanted to make that clear.
ok, so, weight watchers. of course it’s difficult to get all of the information about w.w. because they really want you to _join the club_ first before they give it up. although really, in my mind i’ve started likening both of these diet plans to cults, not clubs. and pyramid schemes, although i’d apply that more to w.w. than atkins, frankly.
so as i was debating which plan to choose, i started thinking about the essential differences between the two. atkins is very appealing, very _luxurious;_ i already know how to follow it, and i get to eat so many things that i love, like _cheese._ i really love dairy fat. and cheese especially. i mean, cheese isn’t just food, it’s an art form. in fact, i’m going to go ahead and say that people who discard cheese as being “just flavoring” (really, i read that on one person’s web site) have crossed from the realm of healthy eating into the dark pit of cheese-less despair, and should examine themselves for signs of having become a brainwashed zombie. _do you crave decadent, fatty braaaaiiinnnssss???_
in stark contrast, low calorie, low fat weight loss diets (and i’ll admit, i say this as someone who has never followed one) seem to be all about asceticism. oh, there is the wonderful, bountiful world of fresh fruits, vegetables, and lean protien sources, and i certainly have a love of all of those foods. but there’s like a sort of moral superiority to these kinds of diets. followers are refraining from the luxurious sin of fat, they’re being _good._
i’ve gotta wonder if some of the anti-atkins stuff out there is just sour grapes.
but you know, i’ve decided to find out for myself. i’ve done atkins, and i lost weight, and i kept it off for a couple of years until i broke my arm and fucked up my leg and became afraid to walk around my own neighborhood because of the broken sidewalks, and then sprained my ankle a few more times for good measure, and it all went downhill from there.
i’m here again, feeling a panicky need to get my weight under control, and this time i’m going throw in with the spartans. i hear you get “negative points” for exercise. job one is to discover how many laps i have to swim to get an ounce of cotswold. or a few marcona almonds… or half and half in my coffee… or… uh..
i should stop.