invasion of the 3-inch flying cockroaches. and water.

last night after work, i went up into the attic to find a box for the monitor. i didn’t find a box, but i did find a leak. it was actually extremely fortunate that i went up into the attic and was messing around in that particular corner; it looks like the leak hasn’t been there long and there’s no real damage to the wood. i need to call the roofers _today,_ though.

i gave jason the monitor and then had dinner with “alicia”: and “sarah”: at dales. alicia was interested in the stuff we know about the relationship between food choices and mood, plus it was fun to hang out!

after i got home from dinner, i completely failed to do anything but sit on the sofa, watch hammer shows, surf, and pet the cat. which i feel kind of guilty about. which lead me to thinking, this morning, whether i could get through a day without feeling guilty? it’s already too late for today.

i took a shower and, yes, one of my 3-inch flying cockroaches was occupying the bathroom when i went in there, but politely flew away so i could bathe in peace. the fact that i’ve become as complacent as i have about them leads me to believe that perhaps some drastic action is needed before they completely take over the household.

i’d only gotten about four hours of sleep sunday night so i went to bed at 10:30 and slept, amazingly, for a very long time. something like nine hours. i woke up twice, once at around 6am to a wildly vivid dream of carrying moses around a huge house, trying to safely get him to my room, encountering many animals which either he would hurt (bunnies) or who would hurt him (a large skunk who bit my hand and would not let go). the dream had a happy ending; i got moses to my room and he was safe and sound.

i awoke again at my 8am alarm to a vivid dream that lonnie’s was not just a shop, but an astoundingly lame and run-down roadside attraction, complete with large fields of dirt, old vw beetles on hydraulic lifts that the kids could ride in, and a building containing, presumably, some kind of homemade museum, guarded by a “neon red and orange”: snake who chased me around. i lost my purse somewhere in all the chasing and whatnot, and was so very relieved to get past the mean snake without being bitten (he looked so very poisonous), and to find spacepod, who looked quite odd, like a beetle that had been stuck in a matter transportation device with a cobra ( “the car,”: not the snake), causing a melding of the two (a la ‘the fly’, the jeff goldblum version). not to look mutant gift snake/insect hybrids in the mouth, i opened his door and he started right up, even though i did not have my keys.

btw, i have a twin mattress and boxspring in my attic that, it occured to me, i have absolutely no use for. it is in the vicinity of the leak, so it may be ruined, but if i determine that it’s still viable, does anyone want it?

many strange dreams about my mother

woke up in the middle of the night to a nightmare of an old lady having seizures and my mother coughing, coughing, coughing horribly then finally saying, “i have to admit that i am throwing up” and going into a bathroom.

then in the morning some strange dream about being in a family vacation house with many people; we were all trying to understand the strange way the many delicate dishes were stored, along the ceiling and in built-in cabinets in the living room; taking many dishes carefully out so freshly cleaned dishes could be replaced, then finding crud on the dishes and washing, washing, washing… my mother getting impatient, telling me to hurry, but i knew it was my grandparents’ dishes, and they are perfectionists, so i had better get every bit of dirt out of every crevice.

some strange set of fondue forks that were all connected together, so it would be impossible for people to use them independently; and the tiki mask they were supposed to rest on was the cruddy dish, put away dirty, that i was trying to scrub the crevices of.

bollywood resort

i dreamed this morning that i was riding around a small town that i was visiting with a guy who was gushing on about how interesting i was. “no matter what happens, you’re interesting.. it’s been a long time since i’ve met someone like you…” and i could tell that he was crushing on me (because in my dream reality, being interesting is the only requirement for being attractive. ha!!) then i realized that the guy was david, the man who runs the car show in roswell, and i felt like, “ew.”

then he was driving us somewhere. i think we were in myrtle beach, though it didn’t look at all like the real myrtle beach. it was very rural. we started passing some billboards that appeared to have been hand-painted, in bright colors, with lots of hindi text. the first one we saw was advertising a bollywood film festival. i thought, “i need to get a picture of that– sarah and georg will _flip out!!!”_ then there were more and more hindi billboards, then finally we passed what appeared to be a resort populated entirely by people from southeast asia.

there was a fabulous, bright green lawn dotted with many sunbathers, mostly women in beautiful, bright colors. i desperately wanted to get a picture, it was such a lovely sight. the david-guy and i went for a picnic, and then i wandered off back to the resort to try and get pictures. i got stuck inside, and found myself talking to a little boy. he looked indian, but said he lived in china. i asked him what town he lived in, and he said, “harrisville” (or something like that). i pondered for a moment the unlikeliness of a chinese town being named harrisville, then asked him what province that was in. he couldn’t think of the province name.

then i realized it was dark, and i was unhappy because my chance to take pictures was gone.

must.. separate.. dreams.. from.. waking.. life…

just now i had a memory that “expose”: magically started working on my powerbook recently, so i went to hit the appropriate function keys, and as i was doing so realized that it was in a _dream_ that expose had suddenly started working, and sure enough, it still wasn’t working in real life.

i actually find it much more disturbing that i was using a computer in my dreams than i do that i confused dream memories with real ones. because really, dream memories are just chemical arrangements in my brain the same way as memories from real life are.

as far as i can recall, i’ve never been aware of a dream in which i used a computer, before today. extraordinary though that may seem to those who know me…

the three ring circus of my mind

i dreamed this morning that i was at dbt’s house. he was there with a bunch of guys with him, and he didn’t look like himself.

he revealed an elaborate pattern stamped in concrete squares that covered his yard. then, he began sliding the whole sheet of concrete into position– a sheet of concrete the size of a yard.

he told me that he was preparing the house to sell, and he was also moving, and asked me if i could start helping get loads of stuff to his new place. i knew i had plans at 1, so i asked him what time it was. then suddenly there were _so_ many people arriving at his place, lots of kids among them, and he said they were also shooting a film. he wouldn’t answer my question about the time.

then karen cirillo arrived. i was really happy to see her because i haven’t in so long, but she was wearing strange blue sunglasses that completely hid her eyes, and when i said ‘hi’, she acted unfriendly and walked into another room. i decided she must be mad at me for not keeping in touch since she’s left.

i was about to tell dave that i couldn’t cope with all these kids and people and all the stuff going on, but then i woke up.

cheap trick

i dreamed this morning that i was hanging out with cheap trick. the lead singer was actually Matthew McConaughey. he got very drunk and started throwing up, but in this really innocuous way.

i also dreamed that a male friend of mine was a physician and all of our female friends were going to see him, supposedly for professional reasons, but actually for prurient reasons. i wasn’t one of his patients because i thought it would be kind of weird. but i thought maybe i should encourage pinky to go see him, because he’s a very compassionate person, and she could use some compassion from a medical professional right about now.

radio anxiety

i had a dream last night that i was on the air and could not figure out what to play next. i kept wandering through the stacks and picking up stuff and then realizing that it was terrible, too terrible to play. finally the song that was on ran out and there was just dead air, silence, and i kept wandering through the stacks, my mind a total blank.

at the same time that horrible guy chris had called the station to make a correction to the concert calendar. he didn’t say who he was but i recognized his voice. so the whole time i was wandering the stacks, i had the phone to my ear, waiting as he researched the correct information, which was taking forever. he wasn’t saying anything, but just being on the phone with him was dividing my attention. i think i finally hung up on him without saying anything.

i think rick was there, too, and i felt very self-conscious about choosing just the right music, since he paid me such a nice compliment after my last show. of course, the self-imposed pressure to do a Really Good Show was crippling and was much of the reason my mind was a total blank as i thought about what to play next.

what does it mean when the dreadlocks are gone?

thinking about dreadlocks boy last night, it wasn’t surprising that he cropped up in a dream; in the dream i remember travelling with him and two other hippies in a tiny, oddly shaped, unusual vw. we arrived at a hotel, where there was a sort of business-person’s networking party going on. i realized that he’d cut off all his hair and was wearing nice slacks and a sweater vest. he snubbed me at the party and i realized that he was trying to change his life and become more conventional, more of a yuppie. so i took off and had one of my usual “travelling” dreams where i go through many halls, stairways, rooms, and other building features.

nightmare user

i dreamed last night that i went to a hospital to drop off a sample for testing. there was a window with a person in it that i had to give (and explain) the sample to, but there were things blocking the window, making it quite difficult to get to that person. i was also embarassed about the nature of the sample (still am, actually, which is why i’m not putting that in here 🙂 so i didn’t want to have to yell the information out.

then there was a man also at the window, another hospital customer. he had a laptop that he needed to connect to their network for some reason. the person in the window kep trying to explain to him how to connect, but i could tell neither of them were very technical and they were miscommunicating. she asked him if he had a data card in his laptop, and he said no. he kept asking if he would be connected to the “comptron” (or something like that) which i intuitively knew must be a dialup provider. i said to him, “do you have an ethernet card?” and that he understood better than “data card”. then i saw that he had an ibook, and i told him that it would be easy to connect his laptop to their high speed network.

i sat down with him to help him connect. he had a strange additional UI installed on his machine, something to help the very novice user use OSX. it had some extremely novel properties which i want to try and describe.

it seemed to have the concept of the entire screen being a physicall object that was floppy. it would flop down, but you could literally catch it with your hand and sort of flip it back up.

the dock was very strange. it would bend in an exaggerated manner, like a roller coaster, which i found made it quite difficult to use.

the colors were bright– windows XP colors, actually– and there was a set of extremely cartoony icons. in the dream, i recognized the artwork– now i think they may have been based on ‘nightmare before christmas’ style artwork, but with bright, primary colors.

this guy would periodically step out into the hall and get into huge arguments with people. he was very agressive and dramatic in the way he would speak to them. stuff like, “YOU. CAN’T. TOUCH. THIS!!!!” but he was pretty nice to me. still, i was having a hard time getting him set up, and was afraid i’d have to endure one of his outbursts if he got frustrated with me.

after trying to figure out his computer for a while, i realized that i simply needed to bring up the network control panel. however, i couldn’t navigate his computer well enough to do it myself, so i had to try and describe to him what we were looking for and how to find it. i thought i had seen it flash by on the dock, but it wasn’t there.

just as i realized that we should look under the apple menu, i woke up.

late for a very important date

i dreamed last night that i was a bridesmaid in a wedding; anxious not to get ready too early, i waited much too late and they almost didn’t let me walk down the aisle. the dresses were simple black chiffon shifts. i was wearing my black witch shoes. i threw on the dress; no time to find and put on a bra, which i thought would be extremely obvious in that sort of dress, but i hoped it might be interpreted as sexy. i got halfway there and realized i only had one shoe on; ran back to get the other one and didn’t have time to buckle it, which looked quite messy. no hose, no makeup; i was a mess. i don’t remember walking down the aisle but they did let me. my old boss sally was there direct the bridesmaids.

then i dreamed that moses and i were on the road. we stopped at a mcdonalds to get a tea bag. then we were at a house and the yard was filled with snakes– snakes everywhere i looked! i somehow got out of that part of the yard to a snake-free part of the yard. moses was anxious to get down, so i let him. i thought, “he’s a cat, he can take care of himself, he knows not to go near snakes.” i went inside the house to inform the owner that they had a snake problem. looking down on the yard from an upstairs window, i could see all the family pets– several cats and two dogs– sniffing around a row of snake holes which were quite clearly visible from my current vantage point. i regretted letting moses go off on his own.

late for a wedding and a yard full of snakes. y’all feel free to have a freudian field day with those dreams 🙂