damn.

man, i have been tired all day. tired.

also, i could swear there’s a song lyric that contains the phrase, “endless cups of tea” but i can’t place it and neither can google. squeeze maybe? something british surely.

i seriously tapped myself out this week. yet i am still missing out on things… hanging out with my new pal j. last night, also sharon jones at kings last night, shark qwest at ooh la tonight and while it looks as if i will make a brief appearance at the evil genius shindig occuring nearby, i think the key word there will be _brief._

my hope for tomorrow is that i will have the energy to take in a matinee. possibly, i might clean up a week’s worth of crap in the kitchen if i feel really energized. oh, and the starlite people are clamoring for an update to the site, which is only reasonable.

i did go out for a bit today, some reading at ooh la (coffee boy was not wearing his hat! a fact on which i felt the need to comment.) and got into a brief conversation about dionne warwick and walker texas ranger with coffee boy and a guy sitting at the coffee bar, drinking a pbr. that place is one weird scene and i love it. bought sox at target and a huge, heavy loaf of bread at great harvest, which i’ve not done in years. yum.

otherwise i have been one with the sofa, either napping or watching movies, including the original ‘alfie’ with michael caine. one of the good caine movies of the 60’s, it’s got a surprisingly frank section about abortion in it, and i can’t say that it comes out clearly on the side of either pro-choice or pro-life. what do you know– a gray area. a concept we don’t understand in this country. i guess because then, it would be difficult to legislate every aspect of people’s behavior and we’d just have to trust them to use their judgement.

ok, all of this typing has exhausted me and i have to rest up for my big evening out.

that’s better-ish…

so it turns out that getting drunk with jason and having an explicit, detailed sex conversation with sylvia in the studio while poor jason tried to do his radio show was apparently what i needed to lift my spirits. go figure.

of course, physically i feel like crap now, but emotionally, i feel slightly better.

let me see if i can pencil you in….

bq. “I cannot stress enough how much I _don’t_ have plans.” -xander harris, _buffy the vampire slayer,_ ‘the wish’

ok, so except for a little trip to asheville next friday to see “interpol,”:http://interpolny.com/ i’m what you might call “socially available” for the forseeable future. no deadlines, no obligations (aside from the usual thanksgiving stuff).

yippee!

a gentle gathering

the party came off nicely last night/this morning. it was never large, which was a bit of a relief. i always worry that a party seems _lame_ when it’s small, but i guess if the conversation is flowing, small is fine. and no one gets left out, in general.

at one point the conversations turned to politics and genentics which was more than i could handle, so i convinced joe to go hang out in the van with me. eventually, more people joined us and no talk of politics was allowed while in the van. it was a lot of fun! the van is a great place to hang out.

it is important to note that disgusting recipe cards are _not_ what one wants to see when waking up the next morning, somewhat hung over. no creamed eggs over fried noodles, thank you very much.

crazy hair makeover!

“here are my pictures”:http://www.spacepod.org/photolog/archives/cat_night_of_fun.html from “christa’s hair makeover.”:http://www.singintomymouth.com/blog/archive/002148.html

it was exactly like a party, except that someone got a really great haircut. and nice color, too!

afterwards some of us went to the wine bar, and then we were all starving so we walked all the way to hectors for greek grilled cheese and tater tots. actually, i was the only one who had tater tots, and everyone was jealous. but i had more than i could eat so i shared my tots with everyone who wanted them.

the past

i had fun tonight at chicks rock, talking with folks, meeting a few new xdu folks, talking for a little while with an old xdu folk who i encouraged to come back…

but then there was some sadness, i ran into an old friend from college, nikos, and he started catching me up on all the people that we used to know. a lot of stories of people having sad lives, going crazy, developing a lot of agoraphobia (was it all the drugs? do potheads become agoraphobic later in life?)

he talked about chuck, who is one of my favorite people ever, when the bookstore where they all worked closed chuck didn’t have a job for two years, he just kind of didn’t know how to cope. nikos says his show on wqfs is incredible though, of which i have no doubt, and i’ve been wishing they’d put in a damn web stream for years just so i can listen to chuck again.

he talked about george, my old housemate, a brilliant mathematician and musician who never leaves his house now, just lives off of money from renting a shack on his property, and does some programming but only stuff he can do without ever meeting or talking to other people. nikos said he once had to go into an office to discuss a database or something, and broke out in a cold sweat and had a panic attack. i assure you that this is not the george i knew back in school. jesus, he was amazing back then, like a force of nature.

he talked about carol, george’s girlfriend back when george and i were housemates. carol’s sister donna was one of my closest friends at guilford, although we lost touch. i remember carol as this amazing bright girl with perfect, smooth blonde hair down to her waist. she and donna were the brains of the family; i once stayed at their house in elizabeth, nj, and the conversation over dinner was astounding, with the two of them and their father pushing each other, constantly challenging, me and their younger sister darla shyly standing to the sides.

anyway, he told me that carol had died; she was married and living in new york, working as a russian interpreter, then got lymphoma and died. donna was devastated.

i’m not really sure how to get my head around that… i think tomorrow or sunday i’ll try to find her picture in my yearbook. i don’t feel like crying, but i feel like i want to feel like crying… i guess that’s how i can best put this feeling. but mostly i feel like i can’t quite get my head around that.

anyway, nikos’ own story is also a little sad, his dad died of cancer a few months ago, so he moved to durham to be with his mom and help her out, and to help himself out because things weren’t going well in greensboro. he plays in some bands, and music is definitely still a huge thing for him; i’m a little intimidated that he’ll probably listen to my radio show, but i shouldn’t be. hell, i should try to recruit him as a dj.

he says he goes to the yoga spot a lot and would actually like to be a yoga instructor. what can i say? we went to a hippie college. nikos as yoga instructor is surprising, but he’s always been a really physical guy, now that i think about it, so it does make sense.

it’s hard to get this big chunk of brutal, negative stuff about one’s old friends, and i know it’s partly that it’s filtered through nikos’ lens, which has never been a particularly rosy one; and the thing about carol, well, i’ll be trying to wrap my head around that one for a while i think. i might think about trying to find donna again…

geargh.

it’s dawning on me slowly this morning that i may not be physically up for going out tonight, which annoys me to no small end.

i’ve got some serious sleep deprivation going on– that’s the main problem. i’m also still feeling some ill effects from all the sugar i ate wednesday night.

i’m so hyped and obsessed with the westy right now that i’m basically wearing myself out just sitting here thinking about it. i anxiously await mark’s call. and i realize that’s something i’m doing to myself but can’t seem to stop myself either.

i seriously considered staying home today but decided not to. not sure if i made the right call on that or not.

anyway.

the much blogged party

you may “have”:http://bunchofpants.blogspot.com/2004_08_01_bunchofpants_archive.html#109164536390959365 “heard”:http://www.livejournal.com/users/spicyleesh/428912.html that “georg”:http://www.mondomundo.net/archives/002192.php had a “party!”:http://www.ovenall.com/diary/archives/002193.php

i ate “cake.”:http://www.ovenall.com/moblog/archives/002186.php#more oh _man_ did i eat cake! a huge towering piece of it. i made three passes at it over the course of the evening and still didn’t finish. in the words of jeff, a professional baker, “In my professional opinion, this cake is _really damn good!!”_

lisa b. rockmeier pointed out that i am intimidating. i agreed with her. i missed the conversation about adorable clothes to be worn friday, but i did get to talk with christine, an xdu dj i’d never met before, so i’ll chalk that up in the win column.

also, ray told me about this guy he knows who lives in a castle in rougemont at the top of red mountain and who only dates the tallest, skinniest, and most beautiful of women. the dude happened to be hanging out with a tall skinny long haired woman wearing tight jeans and tiny little strappy heels, at ooh la latte last night.

Mark those calendars!

I’m having a Halloween party on Saturday, October 30th and you are all invited!

Last year I did bat around the idea of having a “come as your favorite Willow” theme. Now, as always, that _would_ be optional… but if you’re a Buffy fan, and would come to my party, why don’t you weigh in on this idea?

In case you don’t recall, this would mean coming as some version of Willow, like “frightened opera singer willow”, or “evil vampire willow from an alternate universe”. me, i was planning to come as “black willow who tried to end the world”.. and of course, someone could also come as “white willow who saved the world”.

lemme know what you think.

introversion revenge

so after 2 weeks of being with people 24-7, it turns out i needed a little alone time. three days of it so far, and to be honest, i’m not looking forward to talking to much of anyone at work tomorrow either.

i’ve become so much more of an extrovert over the years that when i want time alone, i don’t even know what the heck is wrong with me. it wasn’t until about 8pm tonight that i realized that there’s nothing at all wrong with me. i don’t suddenly hate my friends, probably, nor doing the sort of things i used to like to do before two weeks ago.

anyway. see you when i see you.