i hold this truth to be self-evident to almost everyone but me

today i went to the char grill for lunch.

it was rather sparsely populated.

there was a woman waiting for her food. she was wearing this awesome winter-white coat that fit her slender yet gently curved body like a glove. all of her clothes and grooming were impeccable; her hair was jet back and neatly coiffed; her face was pretty and discreetly made up, as if by a professional. i spent a lot of time admiring her outfit.

she looked a little impatient. they called her number and her order. a grilled chicken sandwich. she had a conversation with the cashier about getting some condiment on the side. she walked away quickly, as if she was nervous that the folks back at the office would be mad at her for being gone so long.

me, i was dressed in about five sweaters and a slumpy brown coat. as always, i was waiting on a big ole charburger and fries. and i was in no hurry at all.

this inspired an IM conversation with jason that went approximately like this:

me: say you are with two girls.

j: i’m totally with two girls.

me: one of them is pretty in the face, nicely dressed and groomed, slim, and kind of anxious and uptight.

me: the other is a little plainer, dressed a little frumpier, and is totally relaxed.

me: which one do you pick?

(ok, maybe i didn’t say pick.)

j: the second one. i’m so not into uptight.

me: see, i’m working this theory right now that being relaxed really helps you get laid.

j: well, duh. you didn’t know that?

me: i didn’t realize it until today. relaxed trumps a lot of things that women think are important, but aren’t.