i crouched awkwardly over the small section of floor that had to be brushed by hand with polyurethane. i had to finish before i could move, or the poly might not go on correctly.

me: i’m going to fart.

j: ha ha! is it going to be a big smelly one?

me: YES.

and a short while later…

me: you’ll notice that i sacrificed my dignity in favor of your floor.

J: yes, that was very good of you.