my schedule today

1am, go to bed. kinda drunk.

5:30am, wake up to dream of large man in tight red clothing. don’t ask.

6am, admit that i might as well get up.

6:15am, finish watching ‘bridget jones: the edge of reason’. perfect.

7am, wave of nausea makes me wonder if i should call in sick.

7:15am, huge cramp makes this idea seem more plausible. snuggle with cat on the bed, and contemplate the rain.

7:30am, finally decide to do it. and do.

7:31am, email drinking partner to tell them that they are a bad influence, which i am secretly happy about.

7:32am, head out to get cash (payday!) and jesus chicken.

8:25am, watch ‘mad about you’ under afghan and eat biscuits.

8:36am, write out schedule. feel sleepy. contemplate napping.