awoke to a truly strange dream this morning. i was part of a group of people who were acting out a drama as if it were our daily lives. my strongest memory from the dream was realizing that the drama was getting boring, and i’d need to do something to make it dramatic again. so, like the worst hack screenwriter, i decided to kill someone off. not literally; i just lied about them being dead. i pulled my old college friend nikos aside and said, “i need to talk to you… i wanted to tell you this first, before the others. someone has died.” i was making this up as i was going along so until the words came out of my mouth, i didn’t know who i was going to kill off. “it’s george.” george is one of nikos’ best friends from college. as i sat there watching nikos react to the news of his friend’s death, i realized what a cruel thing i had done to him. i leaned over and whispered in his ear, “it’s not true.” i could tell he understood but he continued to react. and the lie was perpetuated to other people, and i started to realize the ripple effect of my actions… that someone not involved with the drama, who cared about george, would hear this and be hurt by it. i needed to stop it but the lie was out of my control.
then there was some part about walking a long way down a street at night and finding my pager laying in the road.