The Orchid Man

in the tv series ‘twin peaks’ there is a character who grows orchids in his house, which he never leaves, because he is agoraphobic. donna, who has taken over her dead friend laura’s meals on wheels route, meets the orchid man and discovers that laura was friends with him. donna slowly and painfully gains his trust, and finally he gives her laura’s diaries.

then donna proceeds to ruin his trust and destroy his life, but that’s not part of my point.

angela and i were totally in love with the idea of the orchid man– a sweet, sensitive man whose trust must be slowly, painfully, and carefully gained. his fragile yet fascinating mind requires nurturing and kindness. he was a variant on the Sickly Boy, another type we found oddly appealing.

now, surely, at my lofty age, i have outgrown my attraction for the Orchid Man? hm. maybe not entirely, although i have to admit that i also find him a little bit sad and tiresome. leave the fucking house already, dude. but of course, the original Orchid Man lead a very rich life, through his books and his orchids.

now just imagine if the Orchid Man had had the internet– he could have charmed women from afar with beautifully written emails, and photos of his orchids, rife with sexual metaphor. or perhaps the emails alone would have contained powerful enough metaphors to get the job done.