*cat bodily functions below; skip if you don’t want your day to begin similar to how mine began.*

this morning i was awakened by the sound of moses throwing up in the kitchen. i knew it was the kitchen by the big, echoey sound he was making. _great._

i walk into the kitchen and there’s a trail of cat poop spread across the floor.

i reach for him– he’s in a corner over by his food– and step in a vast puddle of pee that i didn’t notice.

apparently he lost his mind during the night– i always set up the back bedroom with a bed, food and water. the reason he was throwing up was because he was hungry; that’s why i always leave him food during the night.

i go to grab the food from the back bedroom and everything is untouched. water bowl still full, food not pushed around, bed not peed on or slept in. wtf?

i give him the food and he starts throwing it down on the pee covered floor to eat it. a lot of cats do this, they take dry food out of their bowl, throw it on the floor and then eat it.

so i pick him up to move him and realize his flank is soaking wet, which means he laid down in the pee puddle on the tile floor, perhaps waiting for food to magically arrive.

allow me to assure you, _this is a delightful way to start the morning._

tonight we’ll begin re-training on Where Moses Spends The Night. apparently “we” need a refresher. by “we” i mean MY CAT.